Not just my roller coaster ride

Infertility is a horrible thing to have to go through by yourself. Your emotions fly from one end of the spectrum to the other, just to be repeated over and over again with every failed cycle. Those who aren't experiencing infertility (and even those with infertility who haven't experienced the same treatments as you) simply don't understand what you're going through. While sympathy is still appreciated, it's the empathy that really gets you through the tough times. That's why I'm so glad I created this blog, so I could reach out to a community of women who do understand, because my own RL friends and family do not.

I follow quite a few blogs. Each one has their own unique story and I enjoy reading all of them. It's the highlight of my day (besides my husband of course, who is probably reading this blog with a pouting expression on his face). I enjoy sharing in their happiness and in their grief. After all, the journey to parenthood through the Lands of Infertility is one that should not be taken alone.

Sharing in all the emotions of complete strangers, however, can be a little overwhelming. This week has been the worst by far. I was overjoyed to learn that Eileen got a positive result from her obssessive POAS habit. I'm waiting on pins and needles for Hillary to test and I'm also devastated to learn that Mo and Jackie lost their little beans. My heart goes out to them both.

While I feel that it's such a positive thing to have a circle of online friends who are there to support you, this week has reminded me that it can also be emotionally taxing. Not only am I worried about my own upcoming cycle but I'm also worried about the lives of those I don't even know! I don't know how other people handle it, but it's hard for me to be happy or sad for someone without having some sort of emotional involvement. My words can't be empty and meaningless, if I'm happy for you it's because I'm truly happy. If I'm sad for you, then I feel that sadness. Is that a bad thing? Shouldn't a blog community have that kind of support? Or does it only add to your own stress as you try to conceive? I'd like to think that it doesn't, even though I run the gamut of emotions all in the same week, but I've be reminded more than once to relax and focus on myself as I draw closer to my IVF cycle. In the blogging world, that's alot easier said than done.