Is Envy Really our Problem?

I found this article today on CNN and was a little disturbed by the response of this doctor. He essentially said that the reason for this woman's depression and sadness towards her pregnant friends was envy. The definition of envy is: a feeling of grudging or somewhat admiring discontent aroused by the possessions, achievements, or qualities of another. While it is partially true that we are all a little envious (or jealous) of other women's successful attempts at having a family, this doctor barely acknowledged the fact that this woman had failed miscarriages. He continued to suggest that she confront that which bothers her most, meaning she should hang out with her pregnant friends MORE to overcome her depression and grief. While that may work for phobias (and all the examples he gave involved overcoming fears), I doubt it would work for a situation like this. This woman is not afraid of kids, she's trying to deal with the pain of her loss and the depression that infertility causes. Would you try to overcome the death of a grandparent by volunteering at a nursing home?

He even did the unthinkable....gave her advice on how to start a family. "Try surrogacy, it worked for me and my wife." Are you kidding me, doc? I don't think that's the answer she was looking for. In my opinion, I think the woman is having a problem with her depression because it seems that nobody around her is acknowledging her pain. She feels as though her life is at a standstill while she tries every effort to start a family and those around her continue life as if nothing is wrong.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and everyone handles their infertility in a different manner. IF I were this woman, or the doctor giving the advice, I would suggest educating people about infertility, especially those women who can get pregnant so easily. I would reach out to other infertile couples and draw my support from them. I would get a hobby and focus on things I can do well, rather than my inadequacies (like getting pregnant). Sometimes we could all use a distraction from infertility.

There are some times when I don't mind being around kids but there are just as many other times when it really bothers me. We all have our ups and our downs. I'm not saying this woman should shun all her friends who are mothers, that's not healthy. But to subject yourself to a crowd of babies and "mommy talk" isn't healthy either. I just think this doctor could have done a little better with his advice. What do you think?