If you're one of those wives who loves their husband unconditionally please stop reading this because it's written by a woman who is NOT in love with her husband right now.
As I've mentioned before, Brandon and I play lots of computer games. We even met on an online computer game. We used to play quite frequently but over the past six months I've lost interest and pretty much stopped playing. Brandon, however, has not stopped playing. He's said multiple times that he plans on quitting and he'll stop completely once we move to Groton. He'll "for sure" quit when the baby comes. Well if he wants to save our marriage he's gonna have to quit ALOT sooner than that.
Yesterday I left work an hour early because I was tired and needed a nap. I texted the hubby and told him to wake me up between 5 and 5:30 pm since he hadn't gotten home yet. At 6 I woke up on my own and came downstairs to find my husband on the computer playing his game. While he continued to play I did the dishes, took out the trash and made myself dinner while simultaneously baking cookies for my co-workers. He didn't offer to help at all. In fact, he barely said more than five words to me. Afterwards I watched TV for an hour while he played some more. Still no acknowledgement that I was even in the room. When it was time for me to go to bed I went upstairs and threw his pillow down at him and told him to sleep on the couch. He said "WHAAAAT?!" but did he stop playing his fucking game to come upstairs and find out why I was mad? NOPE. He continued to play! Last night he played his computer game for FIVE.STRAIGHT.HOURS. He didn't even bother getting out of his uniform when he got home from work. He just sat right at the computer and started playing.
I'm sorry but I don't think it's okay for a relationship to be trumped by a video game (or anything else for that matter). I also don't think it's okay to not apologize for being such a dickhead. It's one thing to play a game together, as a couple. But for the past few months I've been bored out of my mind finding a hobby to keep myself busy while he plays his game. I've tried other computer games but didn't like them. I'm still too scared to go to the gym, at least until the first ultrasound. And I live in Seattle so it's not like I can do anything outdoors because it rains for 80% of the year. Last night was the last straw for me. The least he could have done was carry on a conversation with me or help out around the house before jumping on the computer!
So Brandon, if you're reading this you've just won the Asshole of the Year Award. No amount of flowers will buy you out of the doghouse this time. I'm beyond pissed at you.
Honey....you are not the only person who's husband does that! You are not alone! You are a better person than I...because I flat out tell my husband to shut the game off and help me. And he does.
ReplyDeleteYou deserve a great big hug!
ReplyDeleteGotta love when you just need a little attention it doesn't happen right now.. but if they need something it better happen right now! I have many "I don't like you right now" moments with my husband. Glad you have a normal marriage!
ReplyDeleteUgh... I'm so sorry! Its funny you mention this, my girlfriend is doing her masters thesis on WoW widows, and how the game has affected their marriage. I hope he gets the message, and begins to focus more on you!
ReplyDeleteI completely understand what you're going through! My husband is the EXACT SAME WAY! Although we both play World of Warcraft (WoW) and will play it together sometimes, he plays it WAAAAAAY more than I do. As soon as he gets home from work, he runs up to the computer room and hops on. Often I'll get home 30 minutes to an hour after him, workout, and then I'm the one that has to make dinner, because he's too damn busy playing video games to get his butt up and make dinner. Just the other day, I got home and there was big snow bank infront of our driveway from the plow going by our road. So I call him up and say "Hey hon, I don't think my car will make it through this snowbank to get into the driveway. Will you help me shovel it?" His response: "No, I'm busy." "Busy doing what?" I asked. "I'm doing an instance." An instance, just so people know, is just something you can do in WoW with 4 other people. My response: "An instance is not being busy," to which he replied "Do it yourself, it's good exercise." I could've KILLED him. This is not the first, or last probably, time he's blown off helping me with something because of his damn addiction to video games. I asked him once if he'd quit and he said something like "Then what would I do, I'd be bored all day." How 'bout help out around the house, you jerk????
ReplyDeleteSorry this comment's so long... just wanted to let you know you're not the only one with a video-gamed addicted asshole for a husband. :) Hope yours straightens up sooner rather than later!
Once again, I am sitting here thanking the good Lord that my husband has no interest in video games or computers! Not to say he doesn't have other faults, but at least I don't have to compete with electronics. Your post did make me chuckle though. Can't wait to read what your hubby does to make it up to you. It better be good!
ReplyDeleteHis bargaining about the quitting is a sure sign of an addict. Next it will be "I will quit when the little bean turns 1..."
ReplyDeleteI am lucky enough that video games never became a passion from my husband...but they all have their moments that make you want to put them on Craig's List (one slightly used insentive husband for FREE).
He'd better be super creative in his apology (flowers, massage, begging on his knees???).
He said he wasn't talking to me because he knew I was mad and thought I needed space and would approach him when I was ready to talk. He knows he screwed up big time and cancelled his account last night. I'm still pretty mad at him but at least that's a step in the right direction. He usually doesn't play for 5 hours but a new expansion to the game came out this week and he got a little overzealous. I wouldn't mind if he played 2 or 3 hours a week but I don't know if he could control his playtime that much. I think it would be best if we just got rid of the game and found a new hobby to do together.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, has anyone ever see the show The Guild? A friend recommended it for me today. By the way she described it, it sounds like something I could totally relate to!
A friend of mine would completely understand everything you are saying. She's told me he's been up until 3 or 4 in the morning before. Just curious, is it world of warcraft? That's her hubby's poison. I can't offer up much advice aside from keep standing your ground because things like this will only get SO MUCH WORSE.
ReplyDeleteSorry your honey was being a tool! Been there, always doing that, though not with video games.
ReplyDeleteI nominated you for an award at my blog! :)