A Little Experiment

fEver since our last IVF failed and I had to quit my job to move 3,000 miles away I've become a bit more thrifty. Actually Brandon would probably call me a tightwad. But whatever you want to call me, I'm concerned about saving money. And not just saving money but keeping it around for the long term.

Brandon and I would like to have the option of doing adoption if IVF doesn't work out for us. But he also plans on getting out of the military in 5 years. Before he gets out he hopes to have his engineering degree but that will be difficult to achieve while working full-time in the military, especially with deployments during 2 of those 5 years. So we expect that he'll need about a year of schooling after getting out to finish his degree. So someone will have to work to keep us covered by health insurance, not to mention day care costs if we do end up with children.

Finding a job might be tough for either of us so we decided that we need a good amount of savings to keep us afloat while Brandon finishes college. We estimated that amount to be $12,000: $1,000 every month for a year. Brandon will get his GI Bill while he's in school which should be about $1,500 a month. That means I'll need to make at least $12 an hour at a full-time job to make ends meet. The problem is getting that $12,000 saved up, along with emergency savings and adoption savings.

See now why I worry?

So for the past 3 months I've turned into a Frugal Fanny, clipping coupons and signing up for deals at restaurants that we frequent so that we can save $5 on our dinner. But all that saving is working. I've managed to save an average of $30 a month from grocery coupons. That may not sound like much but it adds up to $360 a year. But I'm looking to save more.

As I said in my last post Brandon and I had an awesome time in Maine. I really hope to go back some day. But that awesome vacation came at a price tag of about $1,000. That's a lot of money for a birthday getaway. Money that we could be using for more important things. Like making babies. After getting back and looking at our credit card statements I knew that something had to change.

Last night I sat down and took a look at our budget. I type up a monthly budget to see where we stand financially and where our money is going. For the purpose of this experiment I will share our general monthly budget with you.

Income
Brandon (and military housing pay)- 3,750 (1,875/paycheck)

Expenses
Rent- 1,295
Electric and Water- 150
Cable/Internet- 120
Cell Phones- 100
Groceries- 320 (80 per week)
Gas- 240 (30 each per week)
Allowance- 160 (20 each per week)
Car Insurance- 120
Misc Spending- 300
Gym Membership- 55
Netflix- 10
Charity- 35
IRA- 100
Savings- 600
Total: $3,605 ($145 left over)

I deliberately left out my unemployment income because Brandon and I are trying to live as though we only have one budget, especially since unemployment is only temporary. Now you may be thinking to yourself "Wow, she can save $600 a month?!" But I don't. Because somehow we're never able to stick to our budget. Even though we budget for miscellaneous purchases money gets spent and before you know it, we're staring at a bill for $2,160.43 on our Citi card (in my defense $250 of that was for embryo storage which I'm deducting on our taxes). Needless to say, our budget isn't doing its job, hence the reason for this experiment.

Which brings me to the point of this post. I have an idea on how to save a ton of money (borrowed from this article). The idea is to not buy anything for 30 days. It seems easy enough, right? I mean, it's not like we're going a year without spending. So I figured I would give this a try. Not only to save money but to make our family (and my readers) realize what's really a "need" and what's just a "want". I also want to find things to do with our time that don't cost money and to hopefully bring me and Brandon closer together.

I pitched my idea to the husband after he got home from the dog park. His response? "So does this mean we'll have more sex? Cause that's free." Thankfully it wasn't his first response. His first response was to ask questions about my definition of not spending. Here's the list of rules I came up with:

1) Groceries don't count but we'll be cutting back on junk food (especially because of our upcoming IVF).
2) If we can buy it with a gift card we already own, it's okay. So Brandon bought some new running shoes with a Kohl's gift card we have
3) Purchases of Sunday newspapers are allowed because the value of the coupons outweigh the cost of the newspapers
4) All monthly payments already set up will not be affected (Netflix, gym membership, and charitable contributions)
5) Haircuts for Brandon don't count because he has to keep his hair short for work

Starting tomorrow everything else that is not a necessity is subject to the spending purge. No more eating out, no more purchases for the dog, and no more buying things we don't need. Instead we'll start going to the library for new books, attending free events in our area and volunteering. At the end of the month I hope to have saved about $400. I'll post updates throughout the month as to what we're doing to keep ourselves busy and debt-free. If all goes well then maybe we'll try this for a month every year to get on the right track for our savings goals.

I'm looking forward to the month that lies ahead and hope that I can trim the fat from our budget AND my waistline. Wish me luck!

I'm Back

Hello residents of BlogLand, I'm back from our trip to Maine. We had an AWESOME time, I'll probably write a review of my trip and publish it on AC. We went moose watching, hiking, bass fishing and whitewater rafting. It was an incredible trip that left us very tired at the end of each day. We saw moose on three different days of our trip (a cow, a bull, and then a cow with her BABY!). We also saw coyotes, foxes, bald eagles and a crapload of chipmunks.

We got a few calls on our trip too. The first was from G at the foster care agency. She was calling to let us know that they want to put us on a 6-month hold pending the outcome of our IVF. Thanks but no thanks. We've decided not to pursue foster care at this time. One reason is because by the time we get licensed due to the 6-month wait we'll only be here another two years. The other reason is because we're not too comfortable with the fact that CT doesn't do foster-to-adopt. I mean, what if we choose foster care and the child that's living with us can't be reunified with its parents? Do we not have the option to adopt that child? Would we have to get licensed to adopt at that point? Wouldn't we get de-licensed to foster during that time and what would happen to the child? It just doesn't sound right to me. When I fostered in NC they didn't do things like that.

The second call was from Nurse D at Womack. I'm waiting on some paperwork for her to email me but she said that my chromosome analysis and MTHFR tests both came out normal. So that's that. Now I'm waiting to get my period so I can start birth control and we're on our way to starting IVF #2. During our trip Brandon and I had some discussions about how far we're willing to go to have kids. We keep changing our minds but one thing is for sure: If we have frozen embryos we will transfer them all until we run out or achieve pregnancy. After that we're not sure if we're willing to adopt or just live childless. Adoption is no joke. Even though you get alot of the money back from tax credits and military reimbursement its still very expensive initially. We simply don't have the money to do this upcoming IVF and still pursue adoption afterward. That would mean taking out a loan for adoption or waiting a few years until we save up the money. But that's something we'll think about after this IVF. For now, enjoy some pictures and video I took on our trip.

We hiked to the top of this mountain (Mt Kineo)

The view from the top of Mt Kineo

Bull Moose

Smallmouth bass

Mama and her baby

And the Winner Is....

#22, Marci J!

"My American Girl doll Molly - I still treasure her knowing someday my daughter will play with her too and will have just as good a friend in her as I did."

Congrats Marci, I'll be sending you a quick email before we leave for Maine and I will ship your gift when I return.

Thanks to all who entered! I plan on having another giveaway during the first two weeks of August so check back!

For the Infertility Mommies

Did you conceive your kiddo using Bravelle, Menopur, Endometrin, Repronex or Novarel? You could win up to a $10,000 education fund for your child! Ferring Fertility is having it's 7th Annual "My Little Miracle" contest. This year's essay contest is titled If I Knew Then What I Know Now. Ferring invites you to describe in a personal essay what advice you would give to other women coping with infertility so that they may benefit from your story of hope, inspiration and resolve. Enter by December 31st for a chance to win $5,000, $7,500 or $10,000 educational fund for your child. I'm pretty sure that will all the outstanding bloggers out there that someone will come up with an excellent essay!

Blogger Award!

Tiffany over at All Aboard the IF Train! has nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award! Thank you Tiffany! I love getting awards, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. And loved. So here's how the award works:1. Thank and link back to the person who gave you this award.

Check

2. Share seven things about yourself.

Here goes:
1. I love putting together jigsaw puzzles. Nerdy, I know, but its nice to put together a puzzle and frame it for your wall. That's why I only choose puzzles that look artistic, like Thomas Kinkade or Van Gogh. I've done over 10 puzzles but only have 3 in my house. The largest one I've done was 2,000 pieces but one of my bucket list items is to complete the world's largest jigsaw puzzle, 24,000 pieces. It's too ugly for framing but boy would it be fun to put together.
2. I was born in Latrobe, PA. It was the same hospital that my mother, two uncles and grandfather were born at. Though I only lived in PA for six months of my life.
3. I never played sports in high school, instead I was in the colorguard. We also had winterguard as well which is like colorguard only without the marching band and we perform to regular music inside a gymnasium. I was the captain my senior year in high school and went on to perform in college as well. They were my best memories from high school.
4. I'm practically blind. My vision is 600/20, meaning what you can see at 600 ft I can only see at 20 feet. I've never wanted to do the laser eye surgery because my vision is still getting worse every few years. If it ever stays the same for more than three years I would consider doing the surgery. For now I just wear contacts.
5. I can't stand to let my food touch. It's something that got bad as an adult, I don't think it ever bothered me as a child. It's mostly because I don't like to taste different things at the same time. Corn and mashed potatoes? Disgusting. Whoever thought of the KFC bowls or the bag of Doritos with two flavors in them must have been trying to get under my skin. I have a system for my food touching too. For example, if you cook a pot of mixed vegetables it's okay to eat them all together because that's how they came. But if you cook peas in one pot and corn in another they can't touch on my plate. The one exception was our trip to Peru because I was eating those foods for the first time and didn't have expectations for how they would taste. I'm weird, I know.
6. I'm left-handed and most of my mom's side of the family is too. My grandfather would have been left-handed but back then they made you write right-handed unless you wanted your hand slapped with a ruler.
7. I had never ridden in a cab until I was about 25 years old. I had flown from NC to CT to see Brandon and his friend's car broke down so we had to call a cab to take us to the rental car agency.

3. Pass this award along to seven bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic for whatever reason!

Kate from Busted Plumbing whose blog posts are always amusing

Lisa from Waiting Lisa who has more patience in her journey to motherhood than I can ever hope to have

Going for It who recently had a BFN from her IVF and deserves a pick-me-up

Alison from The Privileged Infertile whose awesome talents created my blog layout

H.C. from Life as a Navy Wife and Everything Else who I recently started following and love her blog (I'm also jealous she got Hawaii as their duty station and I got crappy Conneticut)

Susanne from Steady as We Go, a fellow military wife who is getting treatment at the same place I am (Womack Army Medical Center). Good luck Susanne!

Jessica from Journey to the Center of the Uterus whose blog I recently started following and I love reading her hilarious posts!

ICLW Welcome & Updates

Hello fellow ICLWer's and welcome to Fearlessly Infertile. I'm Christa, soon-to-be 29 on Monday!) and soon-to-be going through my second IVF (in September). Unfortunately we had a miscarriage after our first IVF cycle in January. Since then we've moved cross-country and had other things to worry about besides making babies (like my unemployment denial and appeal). We will also hopefully be soon-to-be foster parents. Brandon and I attended an Open House meeting last week where the coordinators were excited to have us at first. When I mentioned our upcoming IVF they told us that they usually don't allow people to become foster parents if they're going through a major "life change" (i.e. pregnancy). Still, we received a phone call a few days later saying they wanted to come visit our home and talk with us more about becoming foster parents. The appointment is scheduled for TODAY and hopefully they will make a decision today as well. If we're allowed to get licensed it will still be December/January before we're placed with a child. I'll post an update after the meeting.

As I said earlier, Monday the 26th is my birthday and I'm holding a giveaway to celebrate. Check it out here if you'd like to enter. Deadline is midnight EST on Sunday the 25th. I also plan on having another giveaway at the beginning of August so check back. Hopefully my giveaways will become a more regular thing on my blog!

Welcome again and I look forward to seeing a lot of new faces (and hopefully a few new followers) around here!

**UPDATE** The foster meeting went pretty well. The lady (G) explained that we can only do foster care or adoption, we can't get licensed to do both. So before we get licensed we would have to make a choice. Doing foster care would mean no chance of adoption, either through an agency or through the state, unless we decide to stop doing foster care. Furthermore, we won't find out whether they'll even allow us to proceed with foster care until Friday or Monday. Bummer, I had hoped on finding out today. So I guess we wait some more. In the meantime Brandon and I have decided to ditch our plans to go to Six Flags New England and instead plan a trip to Maine for my birthday. We'll be leaving on Monday (don't worry, I'll announce the winner of the giveaway before we go) and we'll come back Wednesday. We plan to do some wildlife watching (mainly looking for moose) and some bass fishing and just some general relaxing. I'm really looking forward to it!

PS- I also want to thank whoever put me in for LFCA due to the foster parenting issue. That was very thoughtful!

A Harry Potter Debate

To say that I'm a big Harry Potter fan would be an understatement. But because I love it so much Brandon has had to endure multiple viewings of the various HP movies and other fun things. As some of you may know, ABC Family channel had a HP movie marathon this weekend, with extra scenes and all. Since I was down in NC I couldn't watch the movies so I recorded them and played them this past week. And I got to thinking....

If you've got two Muggle parents, you could possibly turn out to be a witch or wizard, like Hermione. And if you've got one Muggle parent and another magic parent (like Seamus), you will likely turn out to be a witch or wizard just like your magic parent. And if you have TWO magic parents, you're almost certain to turn out magic as well, just like Harry did. There's only been a few rare cases where you turn out to be a Squib (like Argus Filtch). Based on that information, wouldn't it be safe to assume that eventually the wizarding world would wipe out the Muggle world?

Brandon says no (he never read the books though). He argued that you're not born a witch or wizard, you learn it. He apparently thinks Hermione learned how to be a witch which is why she was accepted. But you're definitely born that way, otherwise Harry would have never been accepted into Hogwarts. He never knew he was a wizard till someone told him.

So...what do you think? Isn't it possible that with the rapid rise in witches and wizards that they will eventually outnumber the Muggles?

Freaking Out

I knew this time would come. I've been feeling these thoughts ever since my last IVF cycle. My last IVF was a success. I got pregnant. It was my body that failed me. Now as I'm going into this second cycle I just feel like its not going to happen for us. I feel like it will be a BFN or worse, another miscarriage. I feel like the stakes are so much higher this time around, both emotionally and financially. I don't have a job anymore to earn back all the money that we're about to spend on this IVF and I don't know yet whether I won my unemployment hearing. I want to do a fresh IVF cycle because I'm still young and I want to write off all our big medical expenses in one year. But I also want to do a FET because it's less money and less stress. I thought I had my mind made up but I don't. I wonder if it's the whole foster care situation. I just want to be a mom and I hate that I have to choose. IVF OR foster care. IVF OR adoption. Adoption OR foster care. We can never choose both. We certainly could never afford both, at least not for a while. We would have to take a break for a couple years to save up for adoption.

I hate that I'm second guessing myself when I had already made up my mind. I think it's the realization that this is the end of the road. If this IVF doesn't work out then all we can do is FET's until we run out of embryos. No adoption and probably no foster care.

I wish money wasn't an issue. I wish I could pursue foster care and IVF at the same time because after all, we've always wanted more than one child. Brandon and I only have 3 years at this duty station. After that he goes back to sea duty with routine deployments. That's not an ideal situation for adoption or foster care and we will probably not try to do either while he's attached to a boat. So these next three years might be "it". I think that's why I'm so nervous about this IVF. It's like our last chance. And I never thought I'd be at this point in my life so soon. Infertility sucks.

Did You Know....

that pregnancy tests are tax deductible if you itemize your medical expenses? Click here for a $2 off printable coupon from First Response (my fave pee stick brand). Coupons are good till March 2011 and I've been able to print multiple coupons so stock up! Internet coupons are usually only available for a limited number of prints so this offer probably won't last long.

Ever since we've turned into a one-income family I've gotten into the coupon clipping and other frugal habits. I now save an average of $25 a month from my coupons. It's not much but it adds up to about $300 a year. My latest article on Associated Content discusses the secrets to finding more coupons and saving money. Check it out!

Not-So-Wordless Wednesday

Guess who I'm seeing this weekend? I'll give you a hint....

I'm taking a trip down to NC for my saline sonogram and to pick up my meds for my upcoming cycle. While I'm there I'll get to see one of my IVF friends (and fellow blogger!) and my nephew, sister and BIL. The last time I saw Blake he was still in the NICU. I have to admit, he wasn't the cutest baby in the world with his huge head, wrinkly skin and bulging eyes. But I hear that comes with the territory with preemies and 11 months later he's turned out to be a pretty cute baby. When my mom and grandparents found out I was coming to NC they all decided to drive up and visit as well. So it's going to be a pretty busy weekend. Unfortunately I won't be able to make it down next month for his first birthday, but at least I'll get to see him now before he starts walking and talking.

The Secret to Weight Loss

My dear readers, I have finally found the secret to losing weight. It's not diet or exercise. In fact, anyone can participate in this secret and still lose weight. I should be calling up a lawyer to patent this new weight loss secret but I'm feeling quite generous today. So instead of making a million bucks I have decided to share my secret with my readers....for free!

Are you ready?

Here it is...

Turn off the air conditioning.

It's gettin' hot in here, so take off all your....on second thought, nevermind. Suffice it to say that it's like an oven in my house. Haven't the residents of Connecticut learned that it gets HOT in the summer, therefore air conditioning should be mandatory in all homes? Thank God Brandon and I bought a $600 portable A/C unit (which also heats in the winter) but that's not enough to even cool off the living room. Not to mention that I've made Brandon lug the 90-pound beast upstairs for the past two nights so I can get up to 6 hours of sleep. Today is supposed to be the worst, with temperatures reaching the mid to upper 90's. The next 10 days will stay in the mid 80's. I dread to think what August will be like.

Needless to say, for the past week I haven't visited the gym once. And for the past four days I've been eating ice cream to stay cool. I chug water like a camel and steer clear of any cooked foods. So when I looked at the scale today and saw that I weighed 195.9 pounds I was ecstatic. Maybe hot weather isn't so bad after all.

I Need Your Help!

I'm working on my second money-saving article and I need some help from my readers. If anyone has participated in the following financing programs I would like to speak with you on your experiences and specific situations:
IntegraMed Attain IVF
ARC Fertility Program
MedChoice Financial
Any other financing (except CapitalOne), including ones that are only available through your fertility clinic

I would like to do a little Q&A through e-mail with those who have used financing for their infertility costs and perhaps include your specific information in my article. I can always keep in anonymous if you would like, and of course you can proofread my article before I submit it. I just want to give some information about interest rates, loan limits, etc for consumers with both good and bad credit. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Dear Aunt Flo...

Do you plan on showing up this month? I've seen some oh-so-faint spotting since yesterday which shows that you're thinking about it but you need to shit or get off the pot. If you show up by Monday then that means I can haul my happy buns down to Womack next week for my saline sonogram, pick up my meds, and get my MTHFR test done. If you don't show up by Monday then I'll have to wait till August. So make up your damn mind! Thank you.