Goodbye '09!

What a bitch of a year. It was fraught with disappointment and loneliness. We suffered through two deployments, one of which almost ruined our marriage. I will never again take hormones during a deployment. We experienced two failed IUI's and a few more TI cycles. I was so hopeful at the beginning of this year. I was convinced that all we needed was IUI to get pregnant. Now 12 months later my perspective has completely changed. I'm actually a little less close-minded when it comes to infertility. I've just learned to go with the flow. What has worked for other people may not work for me. Of course, I can't help but be hopeful about my upcoming IVF cycle. I can't help but be just a little bit convinced that this cycle will be all we need to get pregnant. After all my doctors gave me a 50/50 chance of success. But remaining perpetually hopeful through infertility can only cause more depression if the cycle is unsuccessful. So I am trying my hardest to remain realistic. It's alot easier said than done.

But 2009 did have a few rays of sunshine. My job switched companies and I got a hefty raise when I transitioned over to the new company. My grandparents visited me and Brandon all the way from Georgia in May and the four of us went on a cruise to Alaska. It was an awesome trip and I would love to go again and visit Denali. I became an aunt. I celebrated my puppy's 1st birthday in October. I visited my friends back in North Carolina, saw my hubby pull into port at Hawaii and took a fun-filled trip to Cancun.

Hopefully 2010 will bring me my ultimate goal though, and that of course is a baby. There's 12 long months to make that happen. And any time I start to feel like all hope is lost for our family-building efforts, I go back to this article which reminds me that God has a plan for us, we just don't know what it is. To all the other women out there who are trying just as hard as we are, here's baby dust to us all!!