Now that Brandon is gone I have to find something to keep me focused. I thought that the first few weeks of his absence would be more like a mini-vacation, where I could control the remote, eat what I want for dinner, and go to bed whenever I please. Unfortunately this deployment is not like his past deployments. I immediately became depressed and lonely. I knew I had wanted to lose weight while Brandon was gone but now that is even more important so I can remain motivated and keep my sanity.
Today is Day One of my millionth attempt at losing weight. For the past few years I have completely lost any motivation to lose weight. I thought my desire to have a child would fuel my determination but it has not. Sometimes I feel like I'm so fat there's no point in even trying to lose the pounds. I tell myself it wouldn't do much good anyway. This morning was a wake-up call. As I started my first day, I stepped on the scale to log my initial weigh-in. I only weigh myself in the mornings, before I've gotten dressed or eaten. This morning I almost had a heart attack. The scale read 200.5 lbs. I've always come close to the 200-lb mark but have never gone over it. I was in shock. I knew that I needed to do something or I was destined to be fat for the rest of my life.
I know this won't be easy. I tend to lose 10-15 pounds and then quit after I feel healthy enough to be able to eat what I want and stay in control. Of course I always end up gaining the pounds back. This time will have to be different. I'll have to keep the weight off. And not just 10-15 pounds. I need to lose about 50 to be considered "normal" weight for a 5'6" woman. I'm sure I will lose hope along the way which is why I'm asking you to keep me motivated. I don't have many blog followers but I'm going to need all the encouragement I can get.
I've decided that I'm not going to start dieting immediately. I have to plan out my next grocery list carefully so I will probably begin my dieting at the end of the week. Usually I simply count calories. I start out with 1,400 calories a day and work down to 1,200 calories once my body has lost weight and can handle it. Studies show that for every pound you lose, you need to consume 10 less calories per day. I'm going to start out with 1,400 calories a day so I don't feel like I'm starving. It may not sound like much but I plan on eating alot of organic fruits and veggies and very little meat. I'm going to start out exercising 2-3 times per week and I hope to increase it to 4-5 times per week.
Although my ultimate goal is to lose 50 pounds (which may or may not be realistic), I decided I need a few milestones along the way in order to keep me motivated. First, I want to lose 10 pounds by the time I'm ready for my next IUI. That should be about 6 weeks away. It will be hard to exercise during fertility treatments but I should still be able to lose weight through healthy eating. My next milestone is to lose 20 pounds by the time Brandon gets home in December. That will be in the middle of the holiday season so I hope I can stick with my goal and not gain any weight back. Last, I hope to reach my ultimate goal within one year (unless I get pregnant!). I want to be as healthy as possible when I become a mother and today seems like a good day to get started. I will keep a ticker on my blog to keep track of my weight loss. Wish me luck!!
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