Transfer Day

Last night Brandon and I stayed at Susanne's house, after rescuing Oso from the kennel. He had an awesome time playing with their two dachshunds but didn't really enjoy being harassed by the cat, who decided to corner him in the back yard where he was too scared to move until Brandon and Susanne's husband found him. Our dog is such a wuss. So this morning we woke up bright and early and headed back to Fayetteville for our transfer. As I mentioned yesterday, we still had 6 embryos in the running and we were hoping for at least two to transfer. Imagine my surprise when Dr. P told us that all SEVEN were still alive and kicking!!! That's right, apparently the seventh embryo came back from the "dead" and decided to start growing again. We were given the following status on our embryos:

One 8-cell, grade 1
One 6-cell, grade 1
One 5-cell, grade 2
Four 4-cells: 3 grade 1, 1 grade 2

All of them were grade 1. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect all six to make it, let alone have the seventh come back to life. It was very emotional for me to hear and it took everything I had not to start bawling in front of Dr. P and Brandon. After joking that we should go balls-to-the-wall and put all 7 back, we decided to transfer the 8-cell and 6-cell and freeze the rest.

And now I suppose I must admit publicly that I was wrong and my husband, Gretchen, Susanne and all my blog readers were right. There, I said it, so none of those "I told you so!" comments!!

So now I'm back at the Fisher House and ready to take a nap. I can barely keep my eyes open and my family will be here in about 5 hours. Goodnight everybody and please take the time to stop by Susanne's blog to wish her good luck on her fert report today!

Embie Growth Day 2

6 of the 7 embryos are still growing. Last time I had all 10 make it from Day 1 to Day 2, but then 5 arrested overnight and a sixth was getting ready to arrest. My 4 remaining embryos were 4-cell and 6-cell. I asked Dr. P what my leftover embryos looked like today and he said they had all "cleaved" and mentioned that they were in the 4-cell stage. I'm not sure if they're all like that or some of them and I'm also not sure what that means as I haven't gotten the chance to Google it. I'm hoping it's a positive thing and that I'll have some 8-cell embryos for tomorrow's transfer. My appt is at 10:25 am. My mom and grandmother will be coming up tomorrow night to follow us home and they'll be staying with us for a week. At this point I'm just hoping for 2 embryos tomorrow and anything above that will be icing on the cake.

Fert Report

None of the 6 immature eggs made it. Of the 10 mature eggs, 7 fertilized with ICSI.

Based on our past history, we'll be lucky to have 2-3 embryos by day 3. If that's the case we're transferring them all.

Retrieval Update

I must warn my readers that this post will contain lots of complaining and probably more whining than I should be doing. But this is my blog and this is how I feel so if you disagree with me then please refrain from posting rude comments. We're all adults here and I can take criticism but not rudeness.

Retrieval did not go as expected. All morning I felt so full I was sure I was going to explode. The fact that the doc was running an hour behind at the clinic didn't help, but at least the chairs in the waiting room recline so I just sat back and watched The View while I waited to be called back. Everything went as smoothly as I expected and after I woke up from retrieval Dr. P told me they had gotten 18 follicles: 12 from one side, 8 from the other. It wasn't as many as the last IVF (20 eggs retrieved) but I was still happy with those numbers, especially since I was certain that they would all be mature, given the fact that they were grouped together so very nicely this cycle. When I triggered with IVF #1 my range of follicles was 13-21mm. This time it was 15-18mm. So imagine my shock when Dr P said that only 10 were mature. What.the.fuck. He said that 2 of the remaining 8 were overripe and were done for. The remaining 6 might mature in the petri dish this afternoon. But that's a big "if" and I'm not counting on that because I don't know what the odds are that they will mature. And even if they mature, would they really be just as good as the ones who were mature from the very beginning? I never had to deal with that situation so I never bothered to read up about it. I'm just seriously disappointed with only 10 mature follicles. I know some women would give their left boob for that number but those numbers are disappointing for me. After all, I have PCOS so I always have a large number of follicles and I'm still under 30 I kinda assume that my numbers would be good. But last IVF produced 4 embryos out of 16 mature eggs, so if those odds stay the same then I'll only have 2-3 embryos this time around. Considering that this is our last fresh IVF, that means we won't have any embryos for freezing and that pisses me off. I spent the past four months choking back all kinds of vitamins and for what?? 2 fucking embryos at age 29?? I'm sorry but I kind of expected my hard work to pay off. I know I shouldn't jump to conclusions right now (as my husband is reminding me every five minutes) but I also can't help feeling a little bitter and disappointed. I think it might be because there was nothing about this cycle that was better than last cycle, even though I tried so much harder to improve my diet and took all those vitamins. I guess it just goes to show that none of that shit helps. I'm extremely depressed right now and it's taking everything I have not to cry my eyes out. What I wouldn't give for a chocolate martini.....

ICLW Welcome and IVF Update

Welcome ICLW readers! I'm Christa, author of Fearlessly Infertile. I've been TTC since 2007 and we're in the midst of our second IVF after having a miscarriage with our first IVF. Tomorrow is retrieval day for me, it's looking like I have about 18 follicles. I triggered last night and Nurse D called me this afternoon with my bloodwork results. My e2 is now 6,142 (up from 3,574 yesterday) and my HCG from my trigger shot was 96. They want to see that level around 100 or else you have to take the shot again. Thankfully it's close enough to 100 that I don't have to re-do the shot because my right ass cheek is still hurting from last night.

So since I'm retrieving tomorrow I figured it wouldn't hurt to take bets on how many eggs they'll get and how many will be mature. Here are the bets from me, Brandon, and a few of my friends.

Me: 20 retrieved, 18 mature
Brandon: 16 retrieved, 13 mature
Susanne: 14 retrieved, 12 mature
Gretchen: 16 retrieved, 12 mature

Notice who's more optimistic? Feel free to take your bets!

Triggering Tonight!

My e2 is at 3,574 so I'm triggering tonight at 10:30. Dr P scanned me today. He scans much differently than the u/s tech. He sort of picks and chooses the follicles he wants to measure, and only measures those follicles that are most closely grouped together. He also doesn't measure each follicle two ways, just the long way. So today's measurement probably isn't as accurate as it would be had the u/s tech done it. Dr. P measured 14 follicles that ranged from 14-18mm. Only one was 14mm and one was 18mm so the majority were 15-17. I thought perhaps those measurements were a little small for triggering but after looking at my last IVF and seeing that I had a bunch of 13's and 14's at trigger time I felt alot better. But I should get going because Susanne and Brandon are BITCHING to go to Carrabba's so I better get dressed! But before I go, I'll leave a few pictures up from our "IVF party" today. Joan the Fertility Unicorn decided to join!

Small Progress

This morning's ultrasound showed very little progress. While a few follicles grew 2mm overnight, most grew 1mm or less. Here's the report:

Left Ovary: 10 11 11 12 12 12 13 13 13 14
Right Ovary: 9 9 11 11 12 13 13 15
Estradiol (e2): 1,438

I seemed to have lost the 19th follicle, which doesn't bother me because the u/s tech only measured it yesterday and none of the other days. The only thing that bothers me is the inconsistency that my follicles seem to be growing at. They are truly my eggs because they can't seem to make up their damn mind whether they want to grow fast or slow. I'm sooo tempted to take an extra vial of Gonal-F to kick their asses in gear but Nurse D said no so I'm going to stick to my original protocol. Other than that, not much is happening. The Craig Morgan concert was really fun last night, I miss Oso and wish I could visit him in the kennel but they're closed on the weekends (to the public, I'm sure he's getting fed over the weekend). I hope to go see him on Monday but for now it's naptime. Goodnight!

Ultrasound #3

Things are starting to move along pretty nicely now. I've got 19 follicles, probably a bit more. Unfortunately the ultrasound machine only records 10 follicles per ovary so once the u/s tech gets to 10 she stops measuring. So there might be more than 10 follies on my left ovary. Here's the numbers for today:

Left Ovary- 8 9 9 10 10 11 11 12 12 12
Right Ovary- 8 8 9 10 10 11 13 13 13
Estradiol (e2)- 1,251

It seems that my right ovary has the biggest follicles but the fewest quantity, probably because there's no room for more! Nurse D wants me back for another scan tomorrow morning. It's starting to look like I was stimming slow in the beginning but now my body is in full gear and they want to monitor me a little more closely. I'm definitely feeling the back pain that I had during my last IVF, I'm just glad I was able to avoid it until now. Hopefully I won't have to deal with it much longer but this time I was prepared and bought a nice new heating pad just in case.

Nurse D also mentioned that she's 85% sure that I'm going to trigger on Monday night for a Wednesday retrieval. This is a huge relief because that means I'll have my Saturday transfer and we can go back home on Sunday without a huge rush. Of course that's always subject to change but it's highly unlikely.

Tonight I'm going out with G, a former IVF patient at Womack who ended up with a set of adorable triplets. Craig Morgan is playing on Pope Air Force Base tonight and we're going to go. Brandon doesn't think I should go because there's going to be smoking and loud music, but I don't think that will kill our "babies". Susanne left for the weekend to go home but I'll get my friend back on Monday when she comes back for her next appointment. I'm thinking about making this awesome cake with her to celebrate our IVF cycle. How cool would that be!!

I'm sorry, did you want an update?

I had my second ultrasound this morning but I was so busy hanging out with my cycle buddy Susanne that I haven't had time to update. I now have 18 follicles ranging from 6-12mm, though I only have one 6mm follicle and it probably won't be mature by retrieval. E2 is 613. My lining only grew from 8mm to 8.5mm in the past two days and it's looking like I'm running two days "behind" compared to IVF #1. That sucks for me in two ways: my mom and grandmother made plans to visit us the last week of September and if I don't have my transfer until Sunday or Monday then it's going to cut into their vacation time. I feel bad but there's really nothing that can be done about that. But what's worse is that Brandon has to be back at work Monday the 27th. So if our transfer isn't till Sunday then we'll be leaving immediately after the transfer and driving all night or I'll be left in NC to catch a ride with my mom and grandmother on Monday. I asked Nurse D if I could increase my meds to get things moving but she said they don't want to fry my eggs. It's a little difficult to sit back and see how this cycle plays out. I can't help but try to analyze whether this slower stimming is good, bad or neutral. Part of me just wishes my body would respond the same as last time so I at least know what to expect. I'm not a big fan of the unknown. I've got another scan tomorrow to determine whether I'll have the weekend off from appointments.

But in addition to forgetting to post a follicle update, I also forgot to post the winner of the Fearlessly Frugal giveaway! I want to say congratulations to #12, Aly from The Infertility Overachievers!! Aly, I'll be emailing you soon to get your mailing information. A big thanks to all those who entered!

First Follicle Scan

Yesterday was such a long day for us. 12 hours of sitting in a car while my husband drove. We took his car which is a manual and since I don't know how to drive them, he was stuck doing it all and I was stuck hanging onto the oh-shit handle above the passenger door and telling him how to drive. Then we had to throw poor Oso in the kennel as soon as we got to Fayetteville because they close at 6pm. He wasn't happy. I'm sure the whole time we were driving he thought we were going to the dog park or something and then he gets a 2-week stay in a kennel. At least we'll be able to visit him.

My first follicle scan was this morning (stim day 5) and it went okay. I'm starting to feel the heaviness in my body that are the fluid-filled ovaries. I thought for sure there were more follicles today than we saw at our last IVF. I was wrong. They found 15 follicles measuring from 5-8mm as well as some smaller ones that might grow over the next few days. During our last IVF they found 18 follicles from 7-11mm on the same day. I was a little disappointed because I (foolishly) thought that taking all these vitamins and supplements for the past 3 months would help in the egg department. Still, there's a possibility that these eggs might be higher quality than the last batch. I suppose our bodies can still respond differently to each cycle, even when the protocol stays the exact same. I wondered for a second whether age had something to do with my slower response but surely it can't be when my last IVF was just 8 months ago...right? Either way, I don't go back in for another scan until Thursday.

**TMI Alert**

On a different subject...I have a hemorrhoid. It's my first and I'm not sure how I got it, though I suspect that the Metformin is to blame because it's been giving me a stomachache for a while. It's pretty painful and couldn't have come at a worse time. After all, that's the general area where the doc is going to be working over the next two weeks. Why couldn't I have gotten a cold sore or athlete's foot or something? I tried finding some medication for it but all they had at the grocery store was Preparation H and since the nurse said that isn't approved for pregnant people, I probably shouldn't take it either while I'm stimming. Tuck's was on the "approved" list so I've been on the lookout for that instead.

Other than that, things are going well. I feel like I could sleep all day long but I know I shouldn't. I seem to be the only IVF girl staying at the Fisher House. Nurse D said there's about 25 girls in the cycle this month so I guess most of them must be local. That sucks because last time there were about 5 girls staying here and we had a great time together. I hope I get to meet some of the ladies who are in the cycle as well. Oh, and don't forget that today is the last day to enter my giveaway for the Fearlessly Frugal Budget Prize Pack!

**Update** Nurse D called with my estrogen levels, they are 310. I also forgot to mention that the u/s tech noticed a fluid-filled area outside my ovary which she wasn't too concerned about but recommended that I start drinking more Gatorade. I've been drinking 32 oz a day, though I admit that yesterday I didn't have any during our trip. Is this not enough? How much do they realistically expect me to drink? I'm not a camel.

A HUGE Congratulations!!

Please take a moment to stop by Waiting Lisa's blog. After over two years of waiting to be matched for adoption, she got THE call today for a baby who was born this morning! How incredibly exciting!!!!

Stim Day 1

Today was the first day of stims for me. Yesterday all I took was Lupron. I was a little slow with the needle yesterday and it hurt like a bitch going in so today I just JABBED it in and it was much less painful. I was so nervous I would forget how to mix and administer the meds but it's funny how it all comes flooding back into your memory when you've got the stuff laying out in front of you.

I decided over the past few days that we would go ahead with the ICSI. I've been playing Dr Google and discovered that PCOS eggs can have a harder egg shell than non-PCOS eggs which can prevent the sperm from penetrating. That was enough to convince me. I just really really hope that our fertilization rate is better than 75% this time around. It was technically 63% because only 10 out of 16 fertilized normally, even though they did get 12 fertilized. And since this is our last fresh IVF cycle I figured we should make it the best one possible.

So in between job applications I've been keeping myself busy with something new. I've started doing online sweepstakes. I usually "sweep" every other day, doing about 100 sweepstakes at a time. Some are one-time entry, some are daily. Very occasionally I'll enter a blog giveaway, though not often. I've won a few small things: a Scare Me Not monster (Gus), a free box of Barilla pasta and jar of sauce, and an Eat, Pray, Love t-shirt, bracelet and poster. Alot of the sweepstakes that I've entered haven't ended yet or the winner hasn't been chosen. Well last night I won a pretty big prize. It was a 3-day trip to New York City for the launch event of Halo Reach. It included transportation and lodging at a hotel in Times Square plus access to the event. The bad news is that it takes place NEXT WEEK! Which is of course during our IVF cycle so I had to turn it down. I asked if I could swap my prize for one of the first prizes (a limited edition XBOX 360 and Halo game) but the rules state specifically that if you can't attend then you forfeit your prize so I doubt they'll let me trade prizes. Oh well. At least I got lucky enough to win so I hope that luck continues through the next two weeks and I get knocked up. I can only hope!

And here we go again.....

IVF #2 is upon us. Last night was the last night of my birth control pills. I start Lupron on Thursday. So far I had managed to not really think about this cycle much. I wasn't excited or nervous, just indifferent really. Now the nerves are starting to creep up on me. I had my baseline ultrasound last week (Did I already talk about this? Cause I don't remember) and Nurse D wanted the ultrasound tech to measure all follicles larger than 5mm. Well she found 4 follicles that measured 6-7mm and a ton of tiny follicles. I was worried and called Nurse D to see if these bigger follicles were a deal breaker. She said no but the estradiol levels would tell us whether the cycle is off. She said Dr. P wants to see my estrogen level below 70 for a baseline ultrasound, preferably under 50. Well when Nurse D called today she informed me that my estradiol levels were 83 but that I can still move forward with the IVF. That was a relief but I'm wondering what in the hell my body is doing. But I'm trying not to think about it. My first ultrasound is scheduled for Tuesday morning and Brandon has his S/A that afternoon. We're going to try and get through this IVF without having to do ICSI. Last time we went ahead and did it because we (foolishly) thought it would be our only IVF cycle. During the last cycle, we had 10 eggs fertilize normally out of the 16 mature eggs they retrieved. We're hoping for the same results, only without the added $1,800 fee. But we won't find that out till next week.

I just to mention as an afterthought, if you have or will be entering my Fearlessly Frugal giveaway, please make sure you do the mandatory entry first! Otherwise your other entries (such as being a follower) will not count.

Fearlessly Frugal Giveaway!

To celebrate my month of painful sacrifice, or as I've been calling it, my month of no spending, I'm hosting another giveaway! I've contacted businesses all month long to try and get someone to host a review and giveaway but no dice. One of those companies was Sophisticated Shoppers. I wanted to try out one of their stylish coupon organizers and give one away to a lucky reader. I was told they would review my blog and get back to me but I never heard from them again. So I decided to buy a Deluxe Coupon Organizer anyway. I was just itching to have one, especially since they're so cute. It turns out looks aren't everything and I was sorely disappointed. The organizer is made of fabric and the coupon storage area doesn't expand in the way I had hoped it would. It just looks a little too flimsy for me. The only good thing about it was that it came with a pocket calculator, which I'm going to keep. I'll give the coupon organizer to my grandmother or mom if they want it. I was thankful that I had also ordered another coupon organizer from a different company, hoping that I would like at least one of them. This one is called The Couponizer and it is DA BOMB! It's a spiral organizer which is just like the one I have now, only it's bigger, more sturdy and they have many more pockets for coupons, and not just grocery ones! They have pockets for entertainment and travel, fast food, and a bunch more. It also comes with a shopping list, a coupon tracker to track your savings, a small pair of scissors and a plastic bag for carrying (though I don't plan on using that).

So you may be thinking that this giveaway is a coupon organizer, but it's not! It's SO much more than that! It's a Budget Prize Pack which includes the books The Pocket Idiot's Guide to Living on a Budget and The Coupon Mom's Guide to Cutting Your Grocery Bills in Half. If you haven't heard of it, The Coupon Mom is a great website that shows the deals at your local grocery stores as well as coupons you can find in the local Sunday paper. In addition to the books the winner will receive their own Couponizer along with over 100 coupons to get you started on your new budget!
HOW TO WIN:

Open to US residents only. Each entry must be left in a separate comment, otherwise it will only count as one entry. If your entry is not linked to a Google account please be sure to leave a valid email address along with your entry. If the winner does not respond after 48 hours a new winner will be chosen.

Mandatory Entry

Tell me what you think was the most interesting/funny/helpful/sad/clever part of the Fearlessly Frugal experiment. **You must do this entry first or all other entries will be deleted!**

Additional Entries
1) Become a public follower on GFC or leave a comment stating that you are a current follower
2) Blog about my giveaway and leave your link in the comment field
3) Follow me on Twitter or let me know that you're a current follower
4) Tweet about my giveaway and leave your link in the comment field

Entries will be accepted through midnight EST on Tuesday September 14, 2010. A winner will be selected on Wednesday the 15th. I'll be in NC in the midst of our IVF by then but I'll bring the prize pack with me and mail it from there. Good luck!

Fearlessly Frugal Wrap-Up

Well it's September and thank GOD for that. We ended the month with a grand total of $267 in the Baby Fund. I had hoped to have $300 but I was close enough and I'm happy that I was able to save that much and not go over on our budget for the month. I split it up into the five envelopes but perhaps a little too hastily because I should have just put it all into the car maintenace envelope. I went and got my oil changed today and had a check-up, just to see if I needed any routine maintenance done. It's turns out they're recommending $2,200 worth of maintenance, including replacement of my back wheel cylinders, shocks, struts, new tires, brake fluid flush and replacing a bearing that's loose. I almost passed out. I'm going to another place tomorrow for a second opinion. I want to make sure I'm not being fleeced but I honestly think I will still need to do about $1,000 worth of repairs to keep this car on the road another couple years. The thing is that I don't really want this damn car anymore. It's a van I bought brand-new in 2004, thinking my ex-husband and I would be having children. Little did I know we would have so many problems having kids, and have problems in our marriage too. So now my van has 115K miles on it and it's only 6 years old. It's been cross-country twice, the gas mileage isn't as great as Brandon's car and there's alot of cosmetic issues with it as well. I've been wanting a new car for a while, but this one has been paid off for two years and it's nice not having a car payment. But it's only worth about $3,000 so to put $1,000 into it would seem stupid. I could use that $1,000 as a down payment on another vehicle. Brandon thinks I should keep the car. He has a 2000 Toyota Camry so I just have that nagging feeling that one of our cars will kick the bucket soon so we might as well get a new car while we can. I would hate to be rushed into buying a car if one of ours breaks down. And by "new" I don't mean "brand new", just new to us.

I'm still on the birth control pills for the upcoming IVF cycle and I finally got my calendar. I start Lupron next Thursday and then the rest of the meds on Friday. It's the same protocol at last time: the Microdose Flare Protocol with 1 vial each of Gonal-F and Menopur, twice a day. Unfortunately the stress is starting to creep up. Brandon and I had a huge fight last night about an old "friend" who came back into his life recently, a "friend" that I don't exactly approve of, especially since it's a female. I'm not usually the jealous type but this woman almost ruined our marriage two years ago because she couldn't find the fine line between being a friend and being a home-wrecker. That fight made me reconsider doing this IVF cycle but we talked things through and we're going to forge ahead. We normally have a very good marriage and I don't want one argument to ruin a plan we've had in place for so long. Especially when that argument was probably partly fueled by hormones from said IVF cycle.

So needless to say, this week has been pretty crappy. I'm trying not to think about the $1,000 in repairs that my car will need, along with the $300 tires that Brandon's car will need. I'm trying not to think about the fight we had last night or the fact that I'll be injecting myself with fertility medications in just over a week. I'm trying to keep my mind off all that but it's not working. I still plan on having my giveaway, I'm just waiting to get the prize in the mail before posting about it. I want to make sure I like it enough to give it away to a reader! I don't want to give away crap prizes. I'll update as soon as I can and I hope that tomorrow I'll get some good news and find out that all these repairs aren't really necessary. Keeping my fingers crossed!