Long Time No See

This isn't going to be one of those posts where I reminisce about 2011 or share my hopes for 2012. You all know what those are anyway. Instead this post will be another random mish-mash of things that have occurred over the past few weeks.

After spending time with family in Pennsylvania, North Carolina and Georgia for a week I've gained back almost all the weight I lost in the past 5 weeks. It was a huge bummer but I can't say I'm surprised. It's my own damn fault. Tomorrow it's back on the saddle with the gym and dieting and this time I'm getting serious. I'm going to try an all-natural diet and see how that goes. This means very little processed foods, especially those that are high in sodium. Just because a can of soup or a Lean Cuisine meal is low in WW points doesn't mean it's low in sodium and WW doesn't account for that. I really need to cut back on my sodium intake. Most of the processed foods I eat will be things that are harder to avoid like cereal or maybe a Fiber One bar as a snack. I'm going to start eating more fish and tuna and cutting out almost all red meat. Brandon is on board with this diet so hopefully he can lose a little pudge too. He's gained about 30 pounds over the course of our marriage.

We're starting to waver on our choice to go to sunny Mexico for our first real vacation. Instead we're becoming more and more interested in another adventure...Europe. It would only be Germany, Austria and Switzerland. I don't want to go traipsing about the continent visiting as many countries as I can without truly experiencing any of them. That's just not how we travel. We started thinking about this vacation change because Brandon has been talking so much about moving there when we retire and I'm getting very curious about what the region is like. We planned on taking a trip there in about 7 or 8 years when our child is old enough to enjoy long trips but that seems so far away. There are pros and cons to choosing this trip over Mexico and one of the major cons is the extra cost. But the reason the cost would be more is because we would stay longer, not because things are more expensive there. If we chose to go during the exact time we had planned our Cancun vacation then the cost would actually be a bit lower than the Cancun trip. Everything is still up in the air and we won't make a choice on our trip for another month so we have plenty of time to figure things out. In the meantime though, Brandon has started teaching me a little German. Es ist nicht deine katse!! Yes, I came up with that sentence all on my own :)

Sometimes I find the adoption wait is getting to me a little and other times I thoroughly enjoy the freedom of life without kids. It varies from day to day but as the weeks go by I do find myself getting more and more impatient. When is our child going to get here? That's the million dollar question. So to pass the time we've decided to get back into puzzling. I used to love putting together jigsaw puzzles and I was damn good at it. I'd do puzzles and get them framed and give them away as gifts or hang them as artwork in my house. I have a few Van Gogh puzzles and a Thomas Kinkade right now. The largest puzzle I did was 2,000 pieces and was of the Neuschwanstein Castle in Germany. I gave it to my grandparents. Our next puzzle project is two-fold. I liked one puzzle and Brandon liked another so I bought both. The first puzzle is a 2,000 piece of Hallstatter, Austria, one of the place we'd like to visit when we go to Europe. The second puzzle was my choice, a 4,000 piece of Neuschwanstein Castle, another must-see in Germany. I couldn't resist a good challenge. I just hope it fits on my kitchen table or I'll be stuck doing it on the nursery room floor. I've never had to do a puzzle on the floor before.

So with all this travel talk I must admit that I'm considering a career change to a travel agent. With my organization skills and love for foreign places I think I would be very good at it. Remember my Ireland itinerary? Who wouldn't want me to plan a vacation like that for them! The only problem is that I have no paid experience or any certifications. I'm looking into the certification process and the business itself (I'm not too keen on working for commission only. I don't enjoy pushing sales on hotels I can't personally recommend) So it's not a for-sure thing just yet but so many people have recommended that I become one that it's hard to ignore, especially if the natural talent is there. Brandon said at the very least I could get certified and do it as a hobby for family and friends. Maybe charge a small fee to cover the costs of memberships and software programs and that's it. It sounds like a career I could really enjoy and it's definitely worth checking into but that's all I'm doing right now. I'm not going to quit my day job till I get all the info.

I'd also like to announce that I will no longer be adding anymore blogs to my Parenting section. It's getting just a little too big. Also, I'll only be picking a small number of blogs to move from the Infertility section to the Pregnancy section. I don't want to offend anyone by not following once someone gets pregnant but so many of the infertility blogs I follow get pregnant successfully that I can't be having a huge Pregnancy blog list. The majority of my blogs will be infertility and adoption, as I'd like it to be, and very few Pregnancy and Parenting blogs. I'll also try to keep the Parenting a healthy mix of biological parenting and adopted parenting. I hope everyone understands.

So that's my past two weeks in a nutshell. I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season and hopefully everyone had some time off from work as well.

WW Weigh-In Week 5

Despite going off my diet two or three times last week, I did manage to lose .8 lbs. I'm down 5.6 lbs total which makes me pretty happy. Once I hit the 10-lb mark I'm going to buy a new pair of running shoes.

The Couch to 5K is still kicking my ass. I think the idea of the program is a great one but I don't think it was made for me. I think the program is intended for regular out-of-shape individuals to build up the stamina to run a 5K. I don't think it was intended for 200+ lb women who were obese and out-of-shape to build up the stamina to run a 5K. Still, I'm trying. I did pretty well last Wednesday and thought I figured out the secret of running. Too bad I forgot the secret so that when I went to the gym yesterday my shins were once again killing me. Oh well.

We got a call from our homestudy agency on Friday about a possible adoption situation. I'm not really ready to talk about it yet because the information I have is so minimal that it's pretty pointless. But we're dropping off a hard copy of our profile to the agency on Monday so hopefully I can get a few more questions answered before we agree to have our profile shown to the birthmom.

And that's about all for now. I find my life pretty boring at the moment.

Weight Loss Updates

First off, I'd like to brag that after 4 weeks of being on Weight Watchers I'm down 4.8 lbs! Now on to the not-so-good news. Today I started the Couch to 5K and it practically killed me. I'm disappointed to say that I made it about 2/3 through my 20 minute workout. It wasn't an endurance thing at all. It just really really hurt my shins. Not just my shins, it hurt the sides of my legs too. It was like I was working out muscles I've never used in my life, muscles that I don't even know how to work out except by running. It was excruciating. I even stopped the workout halfway through to stretch out my muscles but that didn't help at all. So I gave up and did 20 minutes of weight lifting and 15 minutes on the elliptical trainer.

Brandon says I'm running wrong. I tend to do a fatty shuffle/glide on the treadmill where I barely lift my legs. Brandon tells me I should be kicking my feet higher and using my thighs instead on my shins. I would do that except I might shake the treadmill apart. I think I'm running fine and that I just need to get my muscles used to running in this fashion. My thighs work fine and can handle the elliptical trainer, I just need to get the rest of my legs up to par. We'll see how things go on Wednesday.

Next, we're still up in the air about our trip. Brandon has to check his work schedule to see what dates will work best for his leave request. It turns out the best time *might* be in February which is only 7 1/2 weeks away. Certainly not enough time to lose another 11 pounds! But I can still shoot for 8 or 9 pounds in 7 weeks. Yesterday we stopped by an outlet mall which had a swimwear store. I picked out two new one-piece swimsuits. I'll admit that they're a bit snug right now but that's just the right kind of motivation I need to keep losing weight.

Tonight, to celebrate my oh-so-close-to-a-5-lb-loss, we're going to a hibachi restaurant. The shrimp, veggies, and fried rice will cost me 21 precious WW points but it will be so worth it.

One Month Waiting and Other Things

Today is the one-month mark of being active with our agency. No news except that we've been shown the average amount of times, which is 15-20. This is actually the standard response that almost everyone gets so it doesn't make me feel that great. And those 15-20 birthmoms aren't all interested in adoption. Some are just calling to get some general information while they make their decision. Also, as you may have read on the private blog, the average cost and wait times increased since we went active. Major bummer, but what can you do except wait.

And wait we will. But during that wait I think I'm going to plan another vacation. Actually, let me rephrase that: I think I'm going to plan our first vacation. Because to be honest, we've never been on a real vacation, I refer to our past trips as adventures. They were packed with crazy activities so that by the time we came home we were exhausted and actually ready to leave our adventure. But this will be an actual vacation where we do nothing but sit by the pool and drink rum and coke. And what better place to do that than in Mexico. We've been to Cancun before but like I said, I crammed our days full of stuff to do. This time won't be like that and we only plan to go for 4 nights, our shortest trip yet. We're on a budget after all and now I definitely can't quit my job if we're planning a vacation. I'm thinking about going somewhere in the Riviera Maya/Cancun/Playa del Carmen area and sometime in late February or early March, before all the spring-breakers arrive and before school lets out. And this time we'd like to try an all-inclusive resort because we'll be spending all of our time at the hotel eating, drinking and swimming. If anyone has any suggestions for resorts please let me know!

Buuuuut, if we plan on going somewhere that requires me to wear a bathing suit, I'm going to have to get really serious about this weight loss. This past Sunday was my third weigh-in and I'm down 2.8 lbs. Not bad. It could be all water weight but I don't care. It was probably the water weight that made me look all bloated anyway! I had fully intended on starting the Couch to 5K this week but on Sunday the podcast didn't sync with my iPod so I was stuck doing a normal workout and today I left my iPod at work so it's going to double suck having to do a workout with no music. I love just zoning out while I work out, it keeps me working out longer. Oh well. So next I PROMISE I will start the Couch to 5K :) My weight loss goal before going to Mexico is 16 pounds. I'll still be 10 pounds fatter than my last trip to Cancun but I have to be realistic. I have less than 3 months to lose all that weight and 26 pounds is just too much to try and lose.

Monday we got our baby furniture delivered. It was just a tad bit darker than we expected. Check out what we ordered versus what we got.
I don't hate the color, it's just not what we were expecting. Even the delivery guy said we didn't get the furniture we ordered when I showed him what they had on the website. But the name was correct on the box so apparently we did. If it was a quality issue I'd definitely return it but since it's just the color, I think I can live with that. I'll post more pictures when the nursery is actually complete.

Well that's about it for now. Oh, if you'd like an invite to my private blog, please send me your email address, either through email or a comment. I have to have it in order to add you as an authorized reader.

Private Blog

Two new posts up on the private blog. Just felt the need to write over there this week

Random Updates

So we're back from Thanksgiving. I enjoyed the time with my family but the traffic going to and from Georgia was hell. I think we'll need to start traveling on the off-days to save my sanity. And though I love doing giveaways, I hate mailing the stuff because I ALWAYS manage to have things that won't fit in the boxes I get and then I have to go find another one. Maybe I should just find a UPS store and let them do all the work.

My medication mishap wasn't all that bad. I did get a period which I expected. But I started up on the meds as soon as I got back Sunday night. I think this may have set me back a bit but it didn't completely derail the past month and a half of work. My boobs still feel fuller and the world didn't end.

We bought our baby furniture on Black Friday. I waited patiently for a good deal and it paid off with a 15% off sale. We saved $238. Now I'm just waiting for the delivery guy to call to set up a delivery date. I'm hoping it's by the end of the week. I also sold my first baby book to a fellow blogger so I ordered my hedgehog-themed one.

I think I'm going to have to start the Couch 2 5K next week. I don't have enough time this week to make it to the gym 3 times. But despite not counting my points and going WAY off my diet last week, I'm down 1 lb. Baby steps. Oh, and has anyone tried SparkPeople? My mom mentioned it and said it's like Weight Watchers Online only you count calories and not points and it's free. I already signed up for 3 months of WW so I'm not going to sign up for SparkPeople till that's over but I did want to see if anyone's tried it out.

Absolutely no news on the adoption front. When we first went active I thought we'd be matched very quickly. Now I don't think we will. I have a feeling we'll have a spring baby. Not being pessimistic, just sharing the feeling I have.

Tonight we're re-recording our interviews for the video portion of our adoption profile. This time I wrote notes so I'm better prepared and more comfortable in front of the camera. I did freak out a bit when I saw the video that we took over the weekend with my nephew. I didn't realize I looked so fat and sooooo pregnant. All the weight I gained in the past few months centered in my belly and it looks terrible. Perhaps I should have waited a few months to do the video profile. Oh well, too late now!

Buyer's Remorse

I could kick myself in the ass right now. I waited and waited and did all my research to find the perfect baby book, and I found it. It was this one by Tessera. Well, I thought I found the perfect baby book. Then a magazine came in the mail.

About a month ago I subscribed to the Adoptive Families magazine and I finally got my first issue in the mail a few days ago. I sat down to read it and as I neared the end I thumbed through all the advertisements. One was for an adoption book called LifeInColor.

It has hedgehogs.

For those of you who don't know, I love hedgehogs. Our nursery is hedgehog and bumblebees. I have to have this baby book. Which puts me in a bad situation. The first baby book cost us $100 between the book and the additional adoption themed and holiday themed pages. This new book is priced equally. I can't justify buying two baby books at that price. So if anyone is interested in purchasing the first baby book at a discounted price of $75, please let me know. The pages are all blank, the only thing I did was take the adoption and holiday pages out of the packet and install them in the book. It comes in a nice keepsake box as well.

Miserable

It's time. Time to admit that for the past month or so I've been miserable. I did all my research about inducing lactation and was well aware that taking the meds (especially birth control) would cause me to gain 10-15 pounds. I guess what I didn't realize was how shitty that extra weight would make me feel.

I feel like an utter blob. My sex drive and self esteem is non-existent, not to mention my motivation to get out and exercise. I always come up with valid reasons to put off going to the gym. There's so many things to do before a baby arrives that I'm definitely staying busy. But my weight is suffering.

And while we're at it, let's talk about heartburn. I have no clue what happened but for the past couple weeks I've been getting terrible heartburn. I can eat bread and water and still get heartburn. I know that tomato-based products are bad and I just started cutting out spicy foods and caffeine but the problem isn't going away. I'm going to try getting rid of the Metformin and prenatal vitamins and see if that helps. If not then I'll have to make a trip to the doctor.

So back to the fat issue. I think it's time I went back on Weight Watchers. I didn't lose too much weight last time, only about 7 pounds but at this point 7 pounds lost would be a godsend. I've gained about 6 pounds in the past two months and I'm at the heaviest I've ever been. I realize that about a pound of that was added to my boobs but I still have a stomach pouch I need to get rid of. I'm not a damn kangaroo. So this time I think I'm going to combine my Weight Watchers effort with with Couch to 5K running plan. I've heard a lot of people speak highly of this program so I'm curious to see if it will work for me. I've always wanted to run a 5K. It's a 9 week program which seems a bit ambitious for a fatty like me, but it's worth a shot. I plan to start Weight Watchers tomorrow but I probably won't start the C25K for another week. I want to get to the gym and warm up for a week or so before I just jump into a running program. Hopefully this time Brandon will help motivate me to keep going to the gym even when I don't want to. I think that's the reason I've failed so many other times. Wish me luck!

Adoption is Like a Roller Coaster Ride

Adoption is just like riding a roller coaster. The first upward climb of adoption is the homestudy and the activation. You chug slowly up, up, up the hill. Then you reach the top. You're approved and activated with your agency! But the high you feel is only momentary as you speed at breakneck speed back towards the ground. Then it's time to chug, chug, chug your way back up an even bigger hill as you wait for The Call. This time, because the hill is bigger, the high you experience after receiving The Call and finding out you've been matched is a bit longer. The elation you feel is even more exciting. But eventually you end up back at ground level. Then it's time to chug back up the last and biggest hill as you wait for your baby to be born. Sure, there's smaller hills and even loops and corkscrews mixed in along the ride. Some have a really long ride, some have a very short ride. Some people wave their hands and scream the whole time, trying to experience as much of the ride as they can. Others prefer to close their eyes and only open them when the ride is over.

As for me, I usually hate roller coaster rides but for this one I think I'll throw my hands in the air and smile as they take my picture.

WE'RE ACTIVE!!!

It's finally official. We are now a waiting family with our adoption agency. I'm optimistic that our wait time for a baby won't be long, but I'm also realistic and I know that not at all adoptions work like that. But a girl can hope, right?