Worth the Wait

It's 6 am and my "shift" has begun. For the next 6 hours or so I'll take care of C while Brandon sleeps.  We've got a pretty good system worked out but we still both find ourselves exhausted by midday.  Then again, she's only 5 days old so hopefully soon we'll figure things out.

This whole adoption experience has been wonderful for us.  Our social workers have been responsive and supportive and our relationship with our birthmom could not be better.  She thoughtfully made copies of all her ultrasound pictures as well as pictures of her family.  She even wrote a letter to C for her to read when she's older.  I can't wait to add these to her adoption baby book.  C is loved by so many people.

C is doing wonderful.  She eats well, isn't too fussy and when she's alert she simply mesmerizes us.  I know this blog has been a roller coaster of emotions, of questioning whether parenthood is right for us and why the road has been so long and so hard.  I can now say beyond the shadow of a doubt that we are so grateful that we chose to continue down this path.  I'm sure I would have been happy traveling the world without children but that's only because I would have been oblivious to how much joy a child can bring.  I say I love Brandon with all my heart and I do but that seems to pale in comparison to how much I love my little girl.  I love her with all my being.  One thing that frustrated me during our wait was when people would say "Keep your chin up, it's all worth it in the end."  Well of course, it's easy for them to say because they have their baby in their arms!  But if I were to give anyone advice who's waiting to be a parent, whether it's through fertility treatments or surrogacy or adoption, I would say the exact same thing.  Because it really is.  It's hard to explain but I feel like all those years of trying, those years of waiting, simply disappeared when I first met C.  Of course they didn't cease to exist but now it just feels like...a past life.  That's exactly how it feels.  When I think of my years of trying and of traveling, it feels like I'm remembering a past life.  Not a lesser life but a different one.  And now that C's here I feel excited about this new life that we'll all have together as a family.  It won't involve trips around the world or impulsive weekend getaways and shopping trips but instead will involve lots of snuggle time, learning and cherishing the little things in life.  And everything I've been through to get to this point has been worth it.