We met the birthmom and her mother today. I couldn't have imagined a more perfect meeting. It was like talking with an old friend. We went on and on about random topics for an hour and a half. Every 15 minutes or so, when the social workers could get a word in edgewise, they would bring us back to the real topics that needed to be discussed such as birth plans and legal issues. But in the end we'd always skirt off topic and start talking about something else so eventually they just gave up trying :) But it was such a natural conversation to have with them and something that I'll cherish forever.
Many curious friends and family members have asked us what the birthmom's "situation" is. Brandon and I decided long ago that this isn't something we will share at all. After all, it's not our story to tell, it's our daughter's and we don't want her hearing about it for the first time from anybody but the two of us. When she's old enough to hear it, we'll tell her everything she wants to know and at that point she can decide who to share that information with. We just don't feel right doing it any other way.
But there are a few things I will share, like why she picked us. After we had been talking for about an hour I asked what it was about us and our profile that she liked. She mentioned that she liked Brandon's connection to Utah (many of her family members live there too) and the fact that our profile was short and sweet. But she also said she picked us because I was a Harry Potter fan.
So there you have it. Harry Potter brought us together. It was a match made in Hogwarts :)
Many curious friends and family members have asked us what the birthmom's "situation" is. Brandon and I decided long ago that this isn't something we will share at all. After all, it's not our story to tell, it's our daughter's and we don't want her hearing about it for the first time from anybody but the two of us. When she's old enough to hear it, we'll tell her everything she wants to know and at that point she can decide who to share that information with. We just don't feel right doing it any other way.
But there are a few things I will share, like why she picked us. After we had been talking for about an hour I asked what it was about us and our profile that she liked. She mentioned that she liked Brandon's connection to Utah (many of her family members live there too) and the fact that our profile was short and sweet. But she also said she picked us because I was a Harry Potter fan.
So there you have it. Harry Potter brought us together. It was a match made in Hogwarts :)
This is amazing Christa, you are just a few weeks away from being a mom! I'm so happy for you and Brandon, you cannot imagine how much. And I am imagining the birth mom like Juno (in the movie). I can't remember if you said it, and I hope you don't mind me asking, will you have the birth mom involved in your daughter's life or will it be a closed adoption (not sure this is the right terminology). Do update us on everything you feel like sharing, again, so so happy for you guys!
ReplyDeleteHi Fran! Right now she just wants a semi-open adoption, so we'll send pictures and letters to the agency where she can pick them up when she wants. But we'll also create an online account on Shutterfly where she can order pictures whenever she wants. Then maybe down the road we can open up communication more, if that's what she wants then. We're flexible :)
DeleteI remember back when we were waiting and I was at my lowest, I used to obsess over the profile. But usually it's just some random connector. For us, it was Lord of the Rings and Portland, OR. Whatever works! I am glad to hear that you guys had a great connection. I think it's such an amazing experience, that is hard to verbalize unless you've been through it. Sometimes it just feels "right."
ReplyDeleteI had followed your blog for awhile and stopped when you said you were not blogging anymore. I was surfing the other day and was like oh I am going to pop in and see if she has changed her mind. I was so excited to see your post. I have to say my husband and I were much like you guys were and were packing it in and had decided to move on when we got contacted by a birth mother who had seen our profile on line. 3 months later our son was born. It is crazy how it will happen when you leaset expect it and over the smallest thing.
ReplyDeleteIf you would like to read our story or blog is
http://hesourheartshesourhero.blogspot.com/
Love your blog! We, too, have struggled with infertility. Looking forward to reading more on your blog.
ReplyDeletewww.InfertilitywithHope.blogspot.com
Hi Emily,
ReplyDeleteYou can reach me at cvpis4me@yahoo.com. I look forward to hearing from you!
That's awesome!!!
ReplyDeleteI'll never forget our birthmom telling us it was because of a Dr. Seuss quote I put on one of our profile pages :)
A distinct connection you'll cherish!