Things have been pretty boring on this blog so I figured we'd have a laugh at the expense of others. Well, I don't want it to sound that harsh but I do find my Google Analytics searches to be quite amusing. My last post about these were in January so here's a list of the best ones I've seen since then.
"can husband shovel on day of sperm analysis" I don't see why not, as long as that shoveling doesn't cause him to get aroused enough to...yea, let's not think about that.
"eventually, we did find our way to parking, but we're not big fans of waterford" WTF?! Someone actually typed this whole message in a search engine? What the hell for?
"going through ivf and my husband is an asshole" Yea, we've all been there. I get a lot of searches about asshole husbands lol
"how to insert estrace pill vaginally" Let's think about this for a second. The pill needs to get into your hoo-ha. You don't have an applicator. Put two and two together. Sorry but you're not going to find a You-Tube instructional video for this one.
Now that I think about it, I'd rather you not try to figure this out of your own. You might end up using some kitchen utensil or other weird instrument. The pill gets up there with your finger. Got it?
"i have been on my period for 2 weeks and now i have a flesh looking hard egg shape with cane out my virgina" I tried using Google translator on this one but it didn't work. Apparently it's already in English. My bad.
"insane ramblings of an infertile woman" I would say this pretty much sums up the purpose of my blog
"is it normal to have a lot of blue discharge after inserting estrace" Well the pill is blue so if the discharge comes out purple or green you should probably be a bit more worried
"is mari.juana okay before embryo transfer" Seriously?! You're going through an IVF cycle and you're curious about whether you can smoke THAT right before ET?! I'm usually not judgemental but I'd say you're not fit for parenthood if that's your main concern before getting pregnant. Sorry but this search really pissed me off
"pom juice makes u poop" I'd venture to say that just about any food or drink will eventually make you poop. Pon juice being no exception
"the queen is infertile" The Queen is almost 90 years old. I'm pretty sure she's already hit menopause by now which means, yes, she's "infertile"
"using ben gay in bra cups" I don't get it. What's Ben Gay supposed to do if you put it in your bra cup? I'm curious now. Maybe I should Google it
"what does it mean when your hcg level is 950 two weeks after ivf?" It means you're pregnant. Did they not explain this to you during ANY of your appointments? Do you think the stork will still deliver your baby? Good grief
"what does take pill orally mean \" Stick it in your mouth and swallow it.
"what movies does an ivf collection room have" This search clearly came from a guy. It's nice to know that as we're injecting ourselves on a daily basis their main concern is whether they're going to have good quality porn in the Specimen Contribution Room. Niiiiice
Well that's end of this episode of Stupid Shit People Search For on Google. Don't forget to enter my giveaway, it ends on Monday!
"can husband shovel on day of sperm analysis" I don't see why not, as long as that shoveling doesn't cause him to get aroused enough to...yea, let's not think about that.
"eventually, we did find our way to parking, but we're not big fans of waterford" WTF?! Someone actually typed this whole message in a search engine? What the hell for?
"going through ivf and my husband is an asshole" Yea, we've all been there. I get a lot of searches about asshole husbands lol
"how to insert estrace pill vaginally" Let's think about this for a second. The pill needs to get into your hoo-ha. You don't have an applicator. Put two and two together. Sorry but you're not going to find a You-Tube instructional video for this one.
Now that I think about it, I'd rather you not try to figure this out of your own. You might end up using some kitchen utensil or other weird instrument. The pill gets up there with your finger. Got it?
"i have been on my period for 2 weeks and now i have a flesh looking hard egg shape with cane out my virgina" I tried using Google translator on this one but it didn't work. Apparently it's already in English. My bad.
"insane ramblings of an infertile woman" I would say this pretty much sums up the purpose of my blog
"is it normal to have a lot of blue discharge after inserting estrace" Well the pill is blue so if the discharge comes out purple or green you should probably be a bit more worried
"is mari.juana okay before embryo transfer" Seriously?! You're going through an IVF cycle and you're curious about whether you can smoke THAT right before ET?! I'm usually not judgemental but I'd say you're not fit for parenthood if that's your main concern before getting pregnant. Sorry but this search really pissed me off
"pom juice makes u poop" I'd venture to say that just about any food or drink will eventually make you poop. Pon juice being no exception
"the queen is infertile" The Queen is almost 90 years old. I'm pretty sure she's already hit menopause by now which means, yes, she's "infertile"
"using ben gay in bra cups" I don't get it. What's Ben Gay supposed to do if you put it in your bra cup? I'm curious now. Maybe I should Google it
"what does it mean when your hcg level is 950 two weeks after ivf?" It means you're pregnant. Did they not explain this to you during ANY of your appointments? Do you think the stork will still deliver your baby? Good grief
"what does take pill orally mean \" Stick it in your mouth and swallow it.
"what movies does an ivf collection room have" This search clearly came from a guy. It's nice to know that as we're injecting ourselves on a daily basis their main concern is whether they're going to have good quality porn in the Specimen Contribution Room. Niiiiice
Well that's end of this episode of Stupid Shit People Search For on Google. Don't forget to enter my giveaway, it ends on Monday!
Thats awesome! Thanks for the laugh I needed that today!
ReplyDelete"i have been on my period for 2 weeks and now i have a flesh looking hard egg shape with cane out my virgina" - my translation: "I've been on my period for 2weeks and now something came out of my vagina that looks like an egg". I think this person needs to a.) get some sort of "English" for dummies book and b.) double check that they aren't a chicken or some other avian creature.
ReplyDeletethose are awesome!
ReplyDeleteall I can say is WTF to some of those! People are weird!
ReplyDeleteOmg!!! That is hilarious!!! I can't believe what some people google!
ReplyDeleteis mari.juana okay before embryo transfer" Seriously?! You're going through an IVF cycle and you're curious about whether you can smoke THAT right before ET?! I'm usually not judgemental but I'd say you're not fit for parenthood if that's your main concern before getting pregnant. Sorry but this search really pissed me off
ReplyDeleteMaybe they just wanted to be REALLY relaxed before transfer. Just sayin! LOL