Learning to breathe

This morning I worked out a budget for our upcoming IVF cycle. I calculated that the IVF would cost about $8K and the travel expenses would be an additional $3K. It was about $1,000 more than I had previously thought. It's much less than going to a civilian clinic but the whole idea still makes my head spin. I actually have a headache right now from thinking about all of it. I suppose it didn't seem real to me up until now. It's a difficult thought to process. How did I get to this point? I never ever thought that my desires to be a mother would force me to go this far. I thought a few cycles of IUI would do the trick. I can't believe that I'm now having to embark on this journey through IVF. So many women have done it before me, but yet I still feel alone in the process. Perhaps as the months go by I will get used to this way of life and won't think twice about the money or the injections or the pain of all this. I can only hope.