Disney Countdown and Other Updates

In 9 short days C and I will be driving to North Carolina and then to Orlando, FL to visit family and spend a few days at Disney World. To say that I'm excited is a complete understatement. I'm also pretty sad, though,because Brandon's leave request was denied and he is unable to come with us.  When I think about it I get pretty bitter, especially when other co-workers of his were allowed time off.  But such is the military life and we can only remind ourselves that we have one more year until we're done with the Navy and back in the civilian life.

But enough of that.  Let's go back to Disney talk!

My sister and I have been reading every website for tips and tricks for our Disney visit.  We discovered things that we never knew Disney offered that we've added to our growing list of things to do and see.  We've "ridden" rides on Youtube to check out what would be appropriate for my 4-year old nephew and for C and crossed things off our list that looked too boring.  Our plan is to visit Animal Kingdom on Sunday December 8th, then ride the monorail around to all the resorts to check out their holiday decorations.  We definitely want to see the giant gingerbread house at the Grand Floridian but Disney's Yacht and Beach Club Resort also had a huge edible carousel.  I bet C's tongue would love to take a swipe at that!  I'm sure it would taste much better than the socks she's been obsessed with for the past two weeks.

On Monday the whole family (12 people in all) will spend the entire day at Magic Kingdom.  Tuesday we will have a character breakfast at the Polynesian Resort where we'll get to hang out with Lilo, Stitch, Mickey and Pluto.  The rest of the day will be spent shopping at Downtown Disney and later that evening we'll do a Disney-themed Secret Santa.  We always do a Secret Santa every year for Christmas but this trip is replacing our normal get-together at my grandparent's house so of course we have to bring the Secret Santa tradition with us.  

C has finally hit that magical sweet spot where she loves people, especially people dressed up in glittery, shiny things.  I don't know how long it will last.  Tomorrow she could wake up and hate strangers again but I really hope that she maintains her bubbly personality throughout our Disney trip, and that she also doesn't catch a cold between now and then.  I am so so SO excited for this trip!!

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C took her first steps last week and Brandon was actually there to witness it.  I had stripped her down to her diaper earlier that day to practice walking and she put one foot forward before dropping to her knees.  That evening I showed Brandon what she had accomplished and she actually took one full step for him!  Brandon had his phone ready to take video but let's face it, husbands suck at taking pictures and video so the only thing we got was a 3-second video that's pretty poor quality.  A couple days later she took another more sturdy step towards me but her walking is random and only when she feels adventurous.  

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C still only has her two bottom teeth which means she isn't doing too well with crunchy table foods, though she tries her hardest.  We we first introduced baby crackers to her she would suck them until they were soft enough to bite.  Now she tries to bite off a chunk immediately but gets this pained look on her face because the hard cracker hurts her top gum.  So now I've taken to wetting her crackers first with a bit of water before giving it to her.  I'm still making her baby food and have been feeding her less of the pouch store-bought food, ever since I heard about the Plum Organics recall and the video that showed baby food with worms in it.  YUCK!!  But I realize that she'll have to eat some pouch food when we go out of town so I'm sticking with Gerber and I plan to taste test her food before giving it to her (I always did that anyway).

In the past two weeks C has tried dill pickles, plain yogurt and scrambled eggs for the first time and all were a big hit, especially the pickles.  Brandon is mourning the fact that he will now have to share his beloved pickles but I assured him that we'll be limiting C to only one baby dill a week due to the sodium content.  Now that C is eating A LOT more solid foods I'm trying to come up with a wider variety of stuff to give her.  Making her baby food is really time consuming (about 2 hours per batch of food which only makes about 10 servings) so I try to only feed her one container of homemade baby food and then give her fresh fruit or veggies for the rest of her meal.    

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For those who are new readers, you should know that before we were matched with C's birthmom we had given up on adoption.  We told our local agency they could keep showing our profile but they only do about 3 matches a year so we never thought we'd be matched through them.  Our main agency that we worked with wanted a new homestudy done and since that cost about $800 we just decided to give up, mostly because we had already waited a year with no match and I had just lost my job.  We decided to put the adoption thing on hold for a few more years and in the meantime we were going to take a trip with my mom to England.  I had booked a few things, including a stay at a castle hotel, and was just a few days away from booking our flights when we got The Call.  Naturally the plans for England were put on hold.

When my father passed I found out that I would be getting a significant inheritance.  Maybe not significant to some people but it's a lot of money to me.  With some of that money I want to take my mom to England, on the vacation that we were supposed to take this past year.  She'll be turning 60 in 2016 and by then C will be 3, the perfect age to introduce her to Jemima Puddle Duck and other Beatrix Potter tales and of course, Alice in Wonderland.  In England we can visit Derwentwater and the garden that inspired Lewis Carroll's famous novel.  With my inheritance I plan to foot the bill for my mom's trip so she doesn't have to worry about coming up with the money to pay for it.  I figured that since my dad didn't have much time with C it's only appropriate that I spend my inheritance money letting her make fond memories with my mom.  The only bad part is that I already created our itinerary last fall so there's nothing left to plan or research.  For me that's half the fun of taking a vacation!  But maybe in the next 2 years some things will need to be redone.

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C's birthday party plans are coming along really well!  I made a pennant for her out of the pages of a book I got from Goodwill and I plan to make one or two more decorations for the party.  We don't think that many guests will come so we're hosting it at our house.  If more people RSVP than I planned then we might have to rent a place to have the party.  Our house is pretty tiny!

Aside from sending out invitations we're also sending little cards to create a time capsule for C.  We hope that lots of people fill out the cards for their wishes for C, even if they're unable to attend the party. 

I will probably be busy for the next few days so I want to wish everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving and I hope you're able to spend it with those you love!

Confessions From an Adoptive Mother

It's been a long time since we've heard from C's birthmom, almost 4 months to be exact.  When we were first matched we were told that M just wanted a semi-open adoption, with letters and pictures coming to her via the agency with no personal information exchanged.  We were perfectly okay with an open adoption, even preferring it, but we totally respected her wishes.  After meeting us for the first time, about 5 weeks before C was born, she told her social worker that she liked us so much that she felt comfortable swapping email addresses in order to keep in touch.  We emailed a lot in the beginning but eventually the contact declined to about once a month and now our emails from her are few and far between.

Some people might see this as a good thing, as M slowly transitions out of our lives and gives us the space to parent C.  Not me.  It makes me incredibly sad.  I want our birthmom to be a part of C's growing up, to witness (even if it's just through pictures) how awesome a kid she made.  I want her and her extended family to feel comfortable sending birthday cards or Christmas presents to C, things that we can keep for her to cherish.

But like infertility, adoption isn't all rainbow dust and unicorn farts.

Some birthparents them don't tell their extended family they're choosing adoption or that they're even pregnant at all.  Some find it too painful to keep in touch with the adoptive parents.  Still others make choices during their pregnancy that you yourself would have never made.  Some of them want more contact after the birth than you feel comfortable with.  Only in a few rare cases does an adoption end up being the perfect dream that one expected and hoped it would be.  The rest of us are re-taught a very valuable lesson that life does not always turn out the way we planned.  I say re-taught because many of us were already taught that lesson during struggles with infertility. 

I think that for the past year I've had a somewhat rosy perception of adoption, thinking that I could have it all.  I had hoped that after meeting M we would be able to keep in touch and even have a close relationship with her and her family, almost like gaining a new set of in-laws.  I dreamed about seeing them during the holidays and attending C's birthday parties.  But that's not the case and the past few weeks I've had a hard time letting go of that dream.  I don't know why M has chosen to distance herself, or if she's even doing it on purpose.  She might just be busy with things and forgets to write, or perhaps she doesn't use the email address that we have for her anymore.  Whatever her reason is, I have to respect that.  I will continue to send emails, birthday cards and Christmas presents until her email address comes back undeliverable or our packages come back with no forwarding address.

But one thing that I will never question is how much M loves C.  I knew that when I found out how much thought she put into her adoption plan and how well she took care of C when she was still growing in her belly.  So every night as I'm rocking C to sleep I whisper in her ear "Mommy loves you."  And one day C will understand that I don't just say it for me.

I say it for M too.